Saturday, August 14, 2010
A dream unfolded...
It was just a supreme manifestation
That makes time feel so captive
For we cannot ever know when..
For it is only now that I have dreamt of you
I dream awakened, asleep, in the morrow
For it is then that I have kissed you in bareness
It is then that a darkness swallows me whole...
For when I dream, I make a song,
Of a fabric whose weft only an artisan can capture
For it's only a song that a night bird can sing
And it's only a nightingale that will romance me
And draw me into a spider's web
That you, my beloved, may not be able to extricate yourself from.
Come, then let's walk on the clouds,
On the winds that carry us into a warp of time
Into a shimmering cloud of purple haze
That brings you into me
With a dream full of promise
Of plucked ripe nectarines that you sink your very teeth into..
For it's a folly that no one has loved before
For to love is to die a million deaths and come back
With a tear, a smile, a shattered heart,
And a raw bleeding wound that time will
Let's not talk about this pain that we call love,
Written by many into sheaths of time....
Come then, come into the folds of my womb.
A womb that holds your promise, a lifeline, a pulsating heart.
Come walk with me into the twilight zone,
Where even the angels fear to tread...
And bear with me your lovechild.
A child that will be Me.....
A child that at all times will bear
The pain and the joy that I have held...
I am so entwined in a love that may not be
Of our love that existed somewhere across the weft of time, space,
Thrown into a chasm of eternity stretched across the horizon
Of infinitesimal yawning oblivion.
A being that belongs neither here nor there
Which consists of neither water, nor earth, nor stars, nor fire, nor sand
Why then does that being shine from me?
A being that creates the very cosmos that just sprang out of nowhere,
For who is to explain this?
This that we call Life.
And how do we explain that which is borne of just seed,
And springs into a pulsating man that can just enter my abode
What then is my house, my hearth, my home that I live in...
Just another symbolic metaphor of life,
For is this what we all seek?
A hearth that we can call our own?
But yet, we exist to get out of this very suffering that we call pain, joy,
So free me my beloved, from the silvery ropes that shackle me
And throw me into the wilderness that we call Death
For it is there that I attain Nirvana...
In death I become one,
Yours to keep and to hold, And in Living form
I become a slave to destiny....to time, and to you
And in that form, I am captive in your love
It is then that Nirvana can be sought...
For when we seek to bear child,
When we seek to drown ourselves into captive love,
When we seek to capture in love,
We stay shackled in ropes that some name Destiny....
For when will the bird be free, unless it is not asked to fly the coop?
When it leaves home and hearth?
When it throws itself into a yawning chasm of eternal light?
It is only thus that we establish faith,
When we have seen that our freedom is not harnessed onto myriad rainbows,
But is instead set free and sent into the Universal Light,
Which we would then call Death.
But it is not 'that' Death that we seek, it is Life, it is being alive even in
And so our cyclic patterns set into motion, many, many wheels of time.
And carve into stone...
When I know that u will come to me free of all shackles
Of only feelings that we will share
Of love that just does not covet
Of dreams that do not possess
Of travails to worlds flung far far above
Of horizons seen but never walked upon
Be warned oh foolish one
When you leave me to walk a path that few dare
When you love me and endanger me by making me want to die for you
Consumed by an unholy passion
I now dare the world to look me in the eye and tell me that I have sinned
By loving, by creating, by being consumed by a raging fire that few can douse
What mindless follies have we committed in the name of love?
When we anger, when we covet, when we do unto the world some wierd sin that few
would call Love??
When we threaten to jump into abysses of the mind?
Where we drown and embroil in our own created heights of fear??
Never would I, a pure woman, would want a fate such as that..
Where I am running from my own shadow..to drown and be consumed in a fire that not
As a protector can salvage...
Walk away from me oh beloved one
For we are not meant to be...
Not meant to be consumed, destroyed, to perish in a hellish fire of unholy love
Where one only covets, owns, possesses...
Set me free
Free to fly the wind
Free to be unshackled from you insanely so
When the ropes get untied
I smile and I hurry to leave you
To fly into a horizon that I will now walk
Patiently waiting for time to take hold of me
And throw me into the oblivion that we call......
We still do not know what we may call it...
But for now, let's call it Life....
For in death, we do not exist
We do perish but we...we do not exist....
Just call it Life so it does not end....
And give me meaning and my life a purpose to be reborn
For then we can once again possess, covet...own
And so we go on and on
Till time has finished its hourly routine
And the sun has lost its energies
The moon has moved into a galaxy beyond
The planets have submerged into deluges and oceans
And the air has become a vast stillness
Then we can pause...and say
Oh we have come a long way
And justifiably so
No more yearning for pleasures
Or cauldrons of hell
Now we just rest...and wait...
For a new world to be born...
Of only love, pure as distilled water
Pure as the earth mother
A love that has no depths
No limits except of sanity
Only a love that can be eternal
Can be told that it is holy
So let us wait oh beloved one
For such a time....
In a world that we call our own
Where only Utopia can be seen
Let us wait..Oh let us wait..
It was a momentous journey of carnal seeking
........With you and me.....
Way back then, when you wrote to me,
With a pen full of bloody ink on a
Paper sullied with our love, dreams, sands and fire............
It was for me, only a letter of love
But when you did write,
A meaning unfolded vastly in front of me
I saw unfolding in my visions' eye,
Many, many life spans of time........
Where I am entwined in the arms of love, which I saw in you,
Holding me as your very own, and when you did leave me
After plunging into me ghoulish madness of love..........
I became this dark being, sullied by tainted love,
Yet when we parted, we cried, we shed tears of rain,
Of wet sands, of muds that we soiled ourselves in.
So when I cry because the seed that you sowed
Was not meant to be,
Then a little something that i call faith, dies....
Because you care not for me
You care for only a macabre seed that you plant
A wanton woman that I am,
Why but would you do that to one who would reap a
Harvest that would be gold just for you and yours?
Then a wonder that we call Love, gets melted into ashes
As we reap the harvest of forgotten love...
And that harvest breaks a tiny tender heart that you cared
Not to touch when you seek just an unworthy alliance with a woman
That one would call pure.
For then you have sinned and broken many a cardinal rules
You have sinned and defecated into a boiling cauldron that
Would become poison and hellish for those who boil in it.
And when you go into the hereafter, then I will come with you
And once again descend on this physical plane
To destroy you as the Eternal Destroyer that I will become
For it is you that I will seek to conquer
With love, with care
As a Mother feeding her calf,
As your wedded wife,
To love and to hold
So walk with me today
Hold me as you would hold someone cherished
And allow me to rest with you
In a lawn of lavender, gold dust, and roses.
And when we melt into time,
Then again we walk into a twilight.
As just you and me, and.........eternity.
It came to me as a flickering dream that we met somewhere in time
Only to part bitterly
with un-shed tears that now come out
It is a sad time that we can never be together
For it has been only you for me
It is a broken heart that sheds tears of untold pain
That we have been through
Yet when you meet me in heaven
You tell me, it is just not over as yet
Its a dream that went awry
A dream that again called to me in a moment of intuition
You let me know that our time has come yet again
You told me, it is true
That we have met in a twilight
Only to part
Only to part and to meet yet again in a heaven that you may never know
Walk with me on a road that leads nowhere
When you stand there
Looking at me but not saying anything
You say a lot that has told me
In many many shattered pieces of my heart
A blood that spilled over and a cry that tore even a heart of a stone
It was a lifetime of giving that we never shared
For it was just me who loved you
It was just me who tore my own very heart into shards of sand
Of worlds that we will now never ever see
Will me to my untold death
For it is then that I will be finally free of you
Of pain that not one, not one will ever know
The darkness that pervades my being
Has left imprints of untold weathered sadness unto time
Which will take birth in the nether
And come back as a child that will be me
A child whose new life will be formed out of blood
That held pain, that held words unsaid
Of tissue that never amalgamated into seed
So then my love, we will re-enter into a warp that only we will ever know
Somewhere, in the folds of time
An unfurling of a new life will come to seed.....
So came a time
When you left me
And we met in another time
And what culminated from this......
Was just a timeless eternal grappling of two bodies
Just entwined in a sorrowful embrace
For it was only then that we realized
That time never did exist
It was not time that held us
Or the silvery ropes of life
That held me to you my beloved
It was a yawning chasm of an endless well
Into which i got sucked
And that went beyond...
Beyond what we call space
I flew into a maddening darkness
Embracing the folds of my own skin
Into a darkness that closed me in
That made me gasp for air
Yet no one came
You just left me and went away
And when I reached out for a light
Then it was only you that I see
It was a blinding curtain of shimmering light
A light into which we both got sucked
A warmth where I could not leave
And an endearing love that you could tear apart
With your very bare hands
Why, my beloved?
Why would you tear a love that is so impure?
Why would you not be in a love that swallows me whole, sucks me dry?
Why would you then want to live in this darkness?
Where the blinding light can sear your very whole?
In this timeless space, I walk the winds, winds of light, time, space and worlds
flung far, far beyond.
You choice to be with this eternal woman, with just a second of refracted light
When you throw caution to the winds and leave me to the
depths of the swirling dark oceans of whirling lust,
It's only then that we meet in a twilight where you and I tread,
We tread a wind
That swallows me whole.
For it is you, who stirs in a boiling cauldron his vicious seed,
And churns my milk of desire
And when we culminate this wholeness into one.........
We meet once again in a sphere that is above.....
Above the wrath of desire.......
Above the call of the wind.........
Above the physical grappling of the worlds that we have left.....
For we have crossed over, never to look back....
Never to touch each other....
Yet when we walk a wind...
That is the time when we touch......
We touch upon worlds that we have crossed over
We leave behind a captive love
Held together by myriad rainbows of prismatic light
For it is only then that I, can fly away my coop
For when will a bird be free, if it cannot fly the coop?
So tell me my dearly beloved,
Will you still love me and hold me?
Will you marry me and make me yours or will you love me and let me be?
For it is just a kiss that I can think of...
A love that has been defiled by a wanton woman
By your bloody pen whose letter I read
A lifetime of eternity as I wait..
For the beloved that I seek.
For it is then that I will be,
Then they tell me I am only human, to want, to desire.
To desire from the very dregs of my blackened soul,
Is to live, without you, yet in your memory, I travel distances
In my dreams, I am reaching for only you.
For I have loved, you and you only.
It is a sad day, yet so very beautiful, for maybe I have cried.
In blood, I am yours.
But it is a loved one that one longs for, not for the ordinary is this turmoil.
We sing, we dance, we toil, for who? For you? For me? For beauty?
Tell me is it love that allows me to survive for ever?
Is it that very love that drives me to vistas that I may never see or have seen?
Is it dreams that awaken me from my stupor and remind me that it will never be you again?
Oh it is an illusion that I live, for I am a mere fragment for the universal light.
It is just a spark that divinates every living being, that allows a life to form from plain seed.
What is it that separates illusion from reality?
A vast horizon that yawns over chasms that seem like eternity,
Yet it is simply a veil that lifts when we move over
To another reality that we may never experience in the physical
Yet a truth emanates from the being’s very pore.
That we live, we exist in every realm that we have traversed.
So remember that it is only love that carries us over to oceans varied.
So when I love, I live within you.
In every living, loving moment, I move in fluid grace.
Hoping that love be with me all the way, leaving me only to traverse another realm.
Where I will be some day.
As she walked through, the walls of cobwebs seemed to fall away on their own. Mamta had a very strong and powerful aura. She kept herself protected from malevolent energies as her work was such where entities could easily attack her aura. Mamta was a Shaman and an energy healer. She did home visits for people who seemed to have ill luck for no reason.
Mamta had taken it upon herself to come to her ancestral home, with a purpose. Years ago, Mamta’s family had been afflicted with a strange fate. Mamta’s paternal grandmother, Mrs. Asha Sud Nahata had died suddenly at a young age of fifty. Whilst Mamta’s father had been simultaneously declared mentally ill. Mamta’s father became a vegetable way before his time and their family business floundered. They eventually had to move to a small 2 bedroom place in Azadpur and Mamta’s mother had to get a job in an export firm to make ends meet.
Mamta was always of a spiritual bend, at an early age she started getting psychic visitations. As she started growing up, her powers became more channelized. She started her work with a clairvoyant, based in New Delhi. At age 25, she was asked to help people. Now at age 35, with her own burgeoning practise, Mamta could reach out to all people who needed her kind of help.
It was on her mother’s behest that Mamta decided to cleanse the energies of her ancestral home.
As she walked towards the annexe, her hackles started rising. She took out from her healing tool kit, a crystal faceted pendulum, strung on a 22 carat gold string. The pendulum started whirring around furiously. It seemed to pull towards the courtyard. Mamta’s psychic powers now took over.
She could sense a malignant energy force, not from the higher realms. She chose a spot in the courtyard to do her invocations. She lay a cushion on the floor, drew a lime paste circle around 2 feet in dia, within which were some symbols. She sat down on the cushion.
The courtyard was dark, with windows that were coated with a thick layer of dust. As she begun chanting, the courtyard started getting flooded with a greenish blue light. From the ceiling descended a light being. It was a little star child, with a blue-ish aura surrounding it.
The little star child being stood in front of Mamta. Mamta spoke to the being. The being communicated that it had not been allowed to leave by its astral guides. It needed to complete its karmic cycle to be allowed to go back. The being had been a little girl child in its earthly life. Her mother had not been too well and had died of cancer of the uterus. The girl child had been abandoned by its family. Shortly after, she had disappeared. It came to light that the child’s mother had been my grandmother’s maidservant. Eventually the child had got run over by a car, in the middle of the night. The child had been only 10. Its soul could not be released and it took to occupying the energies of the house where Mamta had lived.
Mamta sent the being's energies to the Light, having healed the karmic cycles. The house was then cleansed over the next one year. Mamta then had the house sold, and from the funds, started a charitable trust for the girl child. Today, there are 40 orphaned or abandoned girls that are looked after by Mamta and her mother.
The woman sobs silently, curled up in a foetal position. On her bedside lies a bottle of sedatives. She gets up slowly, goes to the toilet, comes back, takes a sedative and goes to sleep.
The next day, she calls up a mental hospital facility. After a lot of inquiries etc, the decision is to admit Pupul into the facility for permanent care. The woman silently signs Pupul's death warrant.
The woman is now alone in the house, with only photographs for company.
It is a windy day, The breeze has an ominous feel to it. Anita awakens to see that the windows have blown open. A strange kind of light touches the sky. A shade of pink, an electric blue. Anita knows. The time has come.
Today, I question the very morality and the weft of the societies of the world. Tell me, what gives anyone the right to target the feminine gender as an objectified piece? Do you, my mother, my female sister, promise to stand & cover me when I am being led without any clothes in a village? Do you, O Sister, promise to castrate that man who raped me every night?
I now write a sad story that might shake you, from your very complacent world. I beg you to rise with me and be one in that voice that says...ENOUGH.....I do hope that you will do this for your sister, your mother, your wife, your girlfriend. I am Shakti and I promise to destroy you if you do not protect me.