Leaves & Sticks

Why did we exist, in a world that never understood love? A planet that moved in directions that we could not decide. I cry, I cry for you because you loved me and let go of me I exist, in a void that stretches into reams of time, not knowing when it will end Beckoning to you, I move into a surrealistic cloud, whispering words heard long ago in a melody I sang, love filled paeans for you, to be unheard by many but you Whispering words of love held in floating petals of rose In a moonlit night, in a lush garden with a mystical air, I walk I walk a path softly, whispering to you to come to me and hold me In a dream that we are weaving Heavy with promise...whispering, swirling, weaving songs of sand Clutched in my bosom is a rose That wilts with my warmth A rose dyed with the ink of crying blood Which weeps for me Sweltering, in a heat that is not hell I live, whispering odes of love, hoping that you hear me Moving shafts of light pierce my vision ...

Where is the sky? That submerges me with rain when I need some solace... What are the clouds there for if not for cocooning me in my achingness? Who are we if not beings made just for love? In a world that races by, I stop and tell the passerby To sense what I feel, in painful agony It is just...it is just a living fantasy when we love... For without it, we cease to exist Walk with me my silent lover Hold my hand when I fall into depths of whirling cries Tear me apart, into shattering pieces Rush me into searing hollows, of volcanic lust Of lust that cannot be anything but.... It is love that drives me insane for you Insane and screaming in agony I awaken, rushing to meet you in my awakening fire Of flames that should not be doused for then.... Then I become a dervish of wantonness I become a mad screaming half crazed bitch Who has heat all over her, written in searing hot irons that burn Mad am I, when you plunge into me, darkness, light...

Where is the sky? That submerges me with rain when I need some solace... What are the clouds there for if not for cocooning me in my achingness? Who are we if not beings made just for love? In a world that races by, I stop and tell the passerby To sense what I feel, in painful agony It is just...it is just a living fantasy when we love... For without it, we cease to exist Walk with me my silent lover Hold my hand when I fall into depths of whirling cries Tear me apart, into shattering pieces Rush me into searing hollows, of volcanic lust Of lust that cannot be anything but.... It is love that drives me insane for you Insane and screaming in agony I awaken, rushing to meet you in my awakening fire Of flames that should not be doused for then.... Then I become a dervish of wantonness I become a mad screaming half crazed bitch Who has heat all over her, written in searing hot irons that burn Mad am I, when you plunge into me, darkness, light...

Trickling softly A painful solitary tear that rests on my lonesome cheek Waiting for you to hold and treasure it But you never come You leave me aching, devoid, with no desire I do not know why I live When it is you that I cannot have An aimless sky, a day filled with nothing Such is my life, when you are not there Bleak as an oblivion where we have walked once In a blazing passion that could have ignited the world But consumed us, in a momentary chasm of lust I search, every day, every night In my dreams, for you But you never come, you let me wallow in my own hell Created by us, in a timeless well Pray leave my mind, my very being Because I find it difficult to live Without you in my aching and empty heart Arouse the passion once more Because I lay dead in my waking days I weep, without any tears falling I fear life, without you to hold

Tinkling further and further away Rings a delicate bell Telling me of a moment that is to come Of fulfilment that has been Devastating for the planetary orbits But for you and me We remain awakened in a moment that stretches into nirvanas Sought by seers, sages, unenlightened many Many moons back When you lulled me into sleep By stretching across an arm of endearment I wept, for I knew it was never to be A fulfilment that was so enjoyed by worlds So when I feel blessed, it may be just by you For loving me enough to hold me longingly just for that moment We dance an eternal dance of pain Where I may not have you and you may not have me But we do know We know that we have been together for what was a lifetime It is not to possess you that I held you It was to free you from lifelong shackles Maybe you may never understand the pain But the pain exists of not being understood I let you go so I could not have you And return...

He swam the currents ferociously as if his life depended on it. Nitin was a god fearing man of 24, who knew what he wanted out of life. He had seen life at very close quarters, yet something in him always looked for the good in everyone. He was racing with his cousin Anita in Phuket. Nitin had just learnt swimming from his best friend Anjana, who was like his twin soul. Anjana was twice his age, yet she behaved as if she was a 6 year old. Nitin brought out the best in her. They made sure they met really often. Anjana was drawn to Nitin like a magnet. His angelic face, his humor, his kindness helped her wipe away her many tears that would never fall. Anjana was single, out of choice. She had chosen to stay that way as she had been hurt really badly once. She did like men, yet had found no one who rose to her standards. She was content at the present moment. She had found someone who understood her like no one ever had, her best friend for life. For Nitin, she was ready to move mount...

Swept into wilful time We embrace slowly Caressing the winds that touch us Not knowing that we are to be parted We touch, in a dream that will soon finish Leaving me weeping and asking why... Why could you never be with me? Leaving me alone in your ecstasy I weep, crying alone in a bed that some time was made just for us Be still when I touch your aching heart Filled with pain of our separation I whisper words of love to you but you sleep In a dream that may never finish I love your aching heart, holding my hand steadily on it We sleep, hoping that our eternity remains We hope that we reach Nirvaana In just love, we could do that But the world does not permit it Striking a judgement when not needed Making two lonely hearts part once more It is deep pain that I feel when centuries later you lift my veil It is cumbersome to even tell you how I have waited For just a glimpse, I blush when I see you The world kno...

Somewhere in collective time We heard a voice of sorrow Of a woman who was misunderstood by all In a world that thought she was a fool She rose from the ashes to defy all sanctimonious emotion That gave birth to such emotions such as envy and jealousy They took from her, everything Yet she always had a lot to give Her heart bled for him She never knew why it did bleed when he had caused the pain She cried, knowing that he was not meant to be his Yes she knew, she knew that she would protect him always He did not love her the way she had loved him, he just did not Yet she gave to him, happily She loves another, who is a dream for her She has not shared a past or a future with him Yet she knows he is an angel for her Someone who will protect her They have lived in a previous life As man and wife She ran away from him because she loved another In the stark bleakness of the night, she ran, frightened of his wrath He loved her ...

Sometimes they tell me I am mad, to want so much. Then they tell me I am only human, to want, to desire. To desire you from the very dregs of my blackened soul, Is to live, without you, yet in your memory, I travel distances In my dreams, I am reaching for only you. For I have loved, you and you only. It is a sad day, yet so very beautiful, for maybe I have cried. In blood, I am yours. But it is a loved one that one longs for, not for the ordinary is this turmoil. We sing, we dance, we toil, for who? For you? For me? For beauty? Tell me is it love that allows me to survive for ever? Is it that very love that drives me to vistas that I may never see or have seen? Is it dreams that awaken me from my stupor and remind me that it will never be you again? Oh it is an illusion that I live, for I am a mere fragment for the universal light. It is just a spark that divinates every living being, that allows a life to form from plain seed. What is it that s...

Remembering you in a midnight blue madness I cling to my heart, crying yet smiling It is a time of reckoning as we promise to just fly with the winds We fly to a beyond that has no end, no beginning I love the way you just about hold my hand and fly with me As we had parted centuries back in a tearful war So when I walk back, warm your aching heart, you want me back the way you do When you lose something precious We have an unspoken love, that cannot be named So when I cry tears of pain, it is also a cry for love that has not been with me I just walk on when I see that you have found love, maybe not in me Yet we remain, flying together, being one Kissing a dusk that will at least be ours In a twilight that I buzz in, as a firefly It is a dangerous time, when I know that I can always enter your life as a lover I refrain, I just love you and leave   I leave and go back to where I belong Alone In a vast horizon that awaits me

Non-existent, in water I float, in my solitude. I do not cry. These are the words that define me, Nandita. I live in a surrealistic world that I call Utopia. Today, my brother, Anshuman returns from the US of A. Anshu has been studying B. Tech and promises to be a multi millionaire. He is gifted with IQ, I with EQ. We are birds of a feather. There is pandemonium in the house. Ghar ka chiraag laut raha hai. Mom is going ballistic, screaming matches with the staff, Papa rushing around too. Their darling son, the prodigal is returning. In this mob like fury, I am totally forgotten. My breakfast comes in late, as cook is busy making Anshu’s favourite dishes. Kebabs, biryani, theplas. I am alone in my room. I stare at the curtains, wanting to tear them off. Mom has forgotten that today I had to go for my entrance test for the Jewelry Designing course at JD Instt. The driver has gone off to get fresh towels for Anshu’s room. I hurry. I am late already. I need to shower and catch a ...

Lingering in an oblivion that holds a searing pain Of a heart that bled once for you, night and day I lay silent, numb, without feeling For sleep to come over me and render me unconscious For when I awaken, it is only you that does not exist in my world Where will the unending eternity take us, in a world that exists without you? How will our lives ever again intertwine, if we drift apart? I remember fondly, of dark memories that at least lit up my empty past Today, it is not even that, I just exist, in a void that maybe you can also never fill For you left me, bereft, devoid, aching It may be that someday I come back to reckon with you But how can a numb slab of ice, have a pulsating heart? I am dead, in a world that exists without you. I exist, without you Numb, totally You left me unthinkingly Not knowing that in my already empty vastness Only you had ever existed For me It was you who brought shades of light in my very dark wo...

Joy has no bounds When my heart fills over A breathless moment passes by When alive in my heart ticks a love for you Breaking into a smile I glide towards you like a Giselle white With arms bare, flush with a reddish glow Seething with a golden hue I walk a slow caressing walk As if it is just love that I make Watching you watch me A blush takes over my entire being Smiling, knowing, wanting....just you A meeting of two hearts is what we see here After years of sorrow, I again rise from the ashes Kept alive just for you It is not volatile the moment But pregnant with years of longing With desire felt from the dregs of the soul I just know that we may not rush into this moment of precise longing We do not even care, we do not even care for watchful eyes When we slide into a tearful but silent embrace Oh how my heart weeps For I waited centuries for this day to arrive Only to know that you did too We leave aside the past and...